Have I finally reached the proverbial turn? You know the one, “Her health has taken a turn for the better”, or “her health has taken a turn for the worse.” Thankfully, in this case, I’m hoping I have finally reached that proverbial turn in a positive sense!
In December I returned home for Christmas as well as my sister’s wedding. While home, I also made plans to get a CT scan. Even though I have insurance in the States, I still can’t afford scans here. My last scan was in summer of 2018. This was the longest I had ever gone without having a scan. I honestly got tired of them; tired of not getting the news I wanted, tired of putting the chemical contrast into my body, tired of knowing the scan was exposure to radiation, so I made the decision to skip a couple.
Scanxiety is a real thing y’all. Ask anyone who has gone through a cancer diagnosis & they’ll tell you about it. I’ve experienced it with almost every scan the past 3 years. Thankfully though, with this one I was pretty calm. Something has shifted in recent months & I’m not even sure what it is, but I have been much more at peace with things. I knew for a fact there were some new lymph nodes swollen since my last scan, because I could feel them. They were all still in the same area though & would not affect the staging & it was only a couple. There was the same fear as with every scan though, “What if it has spread?” I’d had some weird health things happen in recent months & that added to the worry as well. Still though, I felt pretty calm despite these worries.
The results came back on Christmas Eve & it was the best news I have received these past 3 years! Yes, the lymph nodes I had been feeling were there & they were new from the previous scan. However, it had not spread to any other part of my body! Three years ago the drs. diagnosed me at stage 2 & I am still at stage 2. That’s pretty significant if you ask me. The BEST news though…..the first lymph node I discovered 3 years ago has shrunk by 2 cm (almost 1 inch)!!! That is the most significant shrinking I’ve had.
Has my body finally reached that “turn for the better”? I don’t know for sure, but I am believing it has. I am continuing to believe that the path God has led me down will lead to healing – because that is what He has said…and maybe now is finally the time.